Surprise! I haven’t fallen off the planet. Yet. Actually, I’ve been busy polishing my new novel, based on a screenplay I wrote several years ago (see “Adapting a Screenplay—Fun Times”). Curious? Before I get into the details, I want to tell you that this thing is a real departure from my last three books, which make up the TELL ME WHEN I’M DEAD trilogy, a horror thriller blood fest that takes my beloved antihero Dave Pulaski from the fictional Northern California backwater of Tres Marias south to the very real and horribly violent City of Angels.
Anyway, after lots of gory mayhem, I thought I’d try something different—family fiction. Yep, you heard me right. This is a story about a modern family in crisis. Now before you get too wound up, let me just say that there is still plenty of horror. And laughs. Only this time, the not-so-gory mayhem is seen through the eyes of a precocious fourteen-year-old girl, who I am hoping will steal readers’ hearts.
Still with me? Great. Because today, I’m giving you a glimpse of what’s coming. The book is called Chainsaw Honeymoon, and—trust me—there’s something in it for everyone.
Chainsaw Honeymoon Synopsis
Ruby Navarro is not your typical fourteen-year-old girl. Sure, she’s bright and funny. But she’s also an incurable carnivore who adores horror movies—the bloodier, the better. A year ago, her parents separated, leaving her to live with her mom, Stacey, and her dog, an over-caffeinated Shih Tzu named Ed Wood. Now, Ruby loves her mom, but she also misses her dad. A lot. People split up all the time, and most kids might get over it, providing they could still Snapchat. Not Ruby. She has decided it’s her mission to save her family. And save them, she will!
Ruby is leaving home to spend the summer with her dad, Alan, a top-performing salesman at a luxury car dealership. At his apartment, she divides her time between her machinima project—a dark fantasy featuring a crazed killer with a chainsaw—and hanging out with her two best friends, Claire and Diego. While Ruby is away, her mom’s boss proposes marriage—ew! And Stacey is seriously considering accepting. In the meantime, Alan stupidly believes he can win back his wife, and gets to work on a “best of” video reel, using years of mind-numbingly boring home movies. Ruby suggests contacting her dad’s younger brother, a talented but arrogant student filmmaker. But her uncle has other ideas, and he talks her dad into making a real movie—with actors and a script—a romantic comedy guaranteed to win Stacey’s heart.
As the movie takes shape, unexplainable things are happening to Ruby. Diego is acting weird around her—what is up with that boy! She’s having nightmares. Her doll Mr. Shivers might be trying to talk to her. And a creepy stain on her ceiling is turning into the killer from her machinima project. Oh, and people are dying—for realz. While on location for the movie, Ruby accidentally discovers that her uncle is actually using her dad’s money to shoot a horror movie, instead of the rom-com he promised. When Alan finds out, he gets into a fist fight with his brother, cuts off the production money, and returns home with his daughter.
But Ruby is still determined to get her parents back together. She gets her uncle’s girlfriend to help, and together they cook up a plan to get the movie back on track. Stacey, a certifiable “horrorista,” is totally on board. And Ruby’s dad? Well, “Mr. Rom-Com” is another story.