Three Things I Learned from ‘100 Bloody Acres’

100 Bloody Acres Poster

I finally got a chance to catch ‘100 Bloody Acres,’ a hilarious horror movie from Australia that was released in 2012. As of this writing, it’s free for Amazon Prime members. If, like me, you are a fan of ‘Motel Hell’ and ‘Delicatessen,’ then you might enjoy this madcap take on the hitchhiker horror trope that features three millennials headed to a music festival and two sketchy brothers who manufacture a special blend, organic fertilizer. Pardon the reference, but here’s some food for thought.

Never Accept a Ride When the Back of the Truck Smells Funny
This is a given. Yet, three hapless travelers, whose car has broken down, decide to accept a ride from Reg Morgan, who is “making a delivery.” That’s right, air quotes. As in most horror movies, Sophie, James, and Wes ignore all the signs and merrily plod on. Usually, this is a hallmark of a plot-driven story. On the other hand, if they didn’t just go with it, the movie would have ended right after the opening credits, and we’d miss all the fun.

Nevertheless, know this: if you should find yourself on a lonely, backwoods road, and a guy offers you a ride in his truck that happens to have a dead animal (and possibly something else) in the back, take a pass. No good ever comes from roadkill. And for crying out loud, if you do decide to brave it out, do not for the love of all that is good and holy take acid to enhance the experience.

Knocking the Bad Guy Out Never Works
One of the oldest movie tropes—and this doesn’t just go for horror—features the hero knocking out the bad guy with a gun or a club, then gleefully running away. Repeat after me: this never works. If you don’t have the stomach to finish off the villain, then at least tie him up so he can’t wake up and come after you again.

And as long as you’re being thorough, take his weapon away. The characters who do not follow this advice once again betray a plot-driven movie, but in this case, the story is so comical, I didn’t mind. I suppose you could argue that when in a situation like this, you’re not thinking straight. Well, of course, you aren’t—you just took acid, you moron!

Surprise! Love Conquers All
To add to the hilarity, ‘100 Bloody Acres’ features a love triangle between Sophie, James, and Wes. Apparently, the girl is searching for something more in a relationship and, though she is technically “with” James, she’s been carrying on with Wes on the sly. But even that dalliance isn’t enough for her.

I won’t spoil the ending for you. Suffice it to say that love—or lust—really does conquer all. And speaking of endings, the interplay between all the characters sets this movie apart. Now, go watch. Hey, does anybody notice a weird smell in here?

Logline
Reg and Lindsay run an organic fertiliser business. They need a fresh supply of their “secret ingredient” to process through the meat grinder. Reg comes across two guys and a girl with a broken-down vehicle on their way to a music festival.

Book Sale—Tender Enemies Now 99 Cents at Amazon

Tender Enemies Cover

Just a quick note to let you know that Tender Enemies by S.R. Mallery is now 99 cents at Amazon. If you are a fan of historical fiction that’s fun, then grab your copy here.

Book Description
A USA Today Best Selling author and two-time Readers’ Favorite Gold Medal winner, S. R. Mallery—as her fans say—”brings history to life.” Here is her newest, a romantic suspense thriller.
It’s 1941 in New York City, a time before Pearl Harbor, when Nazi spies are everywhere in the U.S. and no one knows who’s working for whom. In comes beautiful Lily, paid to gather intelligence by setting up a “honey trap” for Joe Stiles, a supposed German infiltrator. Problem is, she soon faces a danger she isn’t prepared for—falling in love.

Excerpt

Joe grabbed her hand. “Let’s go!” he yelled, and together, they took off, the men’s moans coupled with low curses behind them, growing fainter by the second. He led her over to one of the small alcoves he had hesitated in front of before.

“This has to be the one,” he said. “Hold onto my belt.”

What seemed at first to be a dim little inlet, turned out to be a long, dark passageway, where the temperature chilled and a slightly foul odor emerged. She followed him blindly, until he suddenly stopped short, and she rammed up against him.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“We’ve run into a wall. But if it’s what they told me about, it’s good,” he said in a low voice.

She inched up beside him and realized he was running his fingers over the plaster, scouring for something.

“It’s gotta be here somewhere,” he whispered.

“What’s gotta be here?” she whispered back, but he didn’t answer.

She heard another sound.

He, too, had obviously heard the several footsteps at the mouth of their little “cave.” Fear spiked through her. She didn’t dare move. As the footsteps grew even closer, she heard some words.

“Ich denke ich höre sie.”

Suddenly her high school German came back to her. “I think I hear them,” they had said.

How close are those guys? Still holding onto his belt, she waited for Joe to do something lifesaving, but all he did was move them sideways, as the speed of his hand movements on the wall in front of them grew more frenetic. What in the world was he looking for? She wanted to ask him but didn’t dare utter a sound.

The creaky sounds of cheap shoes, one careful step after another, kept on advancing and still, no solution from Joe.

“Ich kenne deine beiden hier,” one of them snarled out loud.

She clapped one hand over her mouth. They had said, “I know you’re both here.”

Closer the Gestapo shoes squeaked. Closer and closer. It’d be over soon. It’d—

Book Review—Rise and Shine

Rise and Shine Cover

The very first thought that entered my head after finishing Rise and Shine by Simon Lewis was, thank God this didn’t happen to me. Selfish, right? Well, you might think the sentiment understandable when you’ve read this story of one man’s harrowing journey from hopeless near-death to physical and spiritual recovery over a heartbreaking span of fifteen years. By the time I reached the end of the book, I realized the author had been truly transformed. And so had I.

There are many stories—both real and imagined—of people who undertake the hero’s journey—often not willingly. I’ve read my fair share of novels and watched countless movies, and what the creators sometimes get wrong is the last part, where the hero returns to share what he has learned. Well, Mr. Lewis does this in spades. As we follow him along the “hidden path,” we come to learn that science and medicine aren’t the answer to everything and, sometimes, are at odds with each other. Not a very comforting thought, when we’ve always been taught to trust our doctors. We also learn, though, that science can be a benefit when applied appropriately.

If you love reading true stories of loss and redemption, I suggest you grab this book. The research alone is worth the price. And when you are finished, you may come to the same realization the author did—that life is precious and very much worth living.

You can find this review at Goodreads.

Book Description
An impassioned tale of survival and recovery, this inspirational story recounts the author’s horrific car accident, his subsequent coma, and the more than 15 years of cutting-edge treatments and therapies endured during convalescence. With specific details of the rigorous rehabilitation process that ensued, including numerous breakthrough and experimental surgeries, the book also provides practical insight into navigating the treacherous world of insurance and how to differentiate between the often conflicting medical opinions offered. In addition to describing the numerous procedures undergone, the author tells not only of his pain, frustration, and despair, but also of his childlike wonder at the beauty and miracle of creation. A first-person account of sudden, unexpected tragedy and life-affirming courage, this remarkable tale of regeneration imparts lessons both medical and spiritual.

Where to Buy
Amazon US
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Book Review—Dust

Like “Mr. Dark” in Something Wicked This Way Comes, a pale, desiccated stranger appears in the region, and immediately, bad things start to happen.

Dust Cover

When I first began reading Dust by Arthur Slade, I didn’t realize it was a YA novel. To me, the writing was cold and hypnotic, and it unfolded the way that darker, more severe, stories about serial killers and children do. Nevertheless, this is most assuredly a young adult dark fantasy.

Like “Mr. Dark” in Something Wicked This Way Comes, a pale, desiccated stranger appears in the region, and immediately, bad things start to happen. Unaware of the danger, the local farmers and the town’s banker fall under his spell and buy into his scheme to save them from the drought. Good luck with that.

As we follow an eleven-year-old boy named Robert, who is desperately searching for his younger brother, Matthew, we come to learn that not only has Matthew disappeared but many other children have as well. And the grownups don’t seem to notice—or care. When we come to know Robert, we can see why he believes it is up to him to find his brother.

One of my favorite things about this novel is the world-building. It takes place in Horshoe, a small town in Saskatchewan during a terrible drought. In the US, the drought occurred in the early 1930s and led to the Dust Bowl. Farmers are barely able to grow any crops due to a lack of rain. It’s always hot, and there’s dust everywhere—grit that blows into peoples’ homes, clings to their clothes, and invades their food. It’s this kind of detail that makes Dust such a compelling read.

You can find this review at Goodreads.

Book Description
The children were disappearing.
And the worst thing about it?
No one noticed

A rainmaker brings rain to a drought-stricken town. The stranger amazes the townspeople with magic mirrors and bewitches the children with his beautiful butterfly.

First, one child vanishes. Then another. And another.

Only one young man sees through the lies and decides to act.

You’ll love this dark, mysterious young adult novel. Winner of the Governor General’s Award.

Get it now.

Where to Buy
Amazon US
Amazon UK
Amazon CA
Amazon AU
Amazon IN

More Reviews
Did you enjoy this review? Check out my other reviews here.

The Girl in the Mirror—Official Teaser Trailer

Teaser trailer for The Girl in the Mirror, a Sarah Greene Mystery.

Check out the teaser trailer for my new supernatural suspense novel, The Girl in the Mirror. This is the first book in my new Sarah Greene Mysteries series, and I couldn’t be more excited. Enjoy!

Book Description

While renovating an old house with her ex-husband, Sarah Greene finds a mirror that holds the spirit of a dead girl. As she learns more about the people who built Casa Abrigo—and about their demon-worshiping son—Sarah comes to believe the girl did not die a natural death, and she sets out to discover the truth. But prying into someone’s sketchy past can be risky, especially when it awakens dangerous dark forces.

More information here. Coming summer 2019.