Get Chainsaw Honeymoon for Free!

Chainsaw Honeymoon Cover 3DWow, it’s May already and life is beautiful! Just take a look at this lovely tweet from my friend David Latt, one of the folks responsible for ‘Sharknado’:

Pretty exciting, right? Well, here is some more good news. You can pick up your free Kindle version of Chainsaw Honeymoon now through May 18th. If you like romantic comedy on the hysterical side, then don’t wait another second.

Yes, I want to buy now!

Take a look at what IndieReader had to say about my latest novel:

“In this tale of a daughter literally trying to scare her estranged parents back together, Steven Ramirez combines the horror/slasher film and literature genres with the light comedy/romance of a Cary Grant film. Both genres present challenges on their own. What is amazing about Chainsaw Honeymoon is how Ramirez surmounts both of these demands. Added to these accomplishments is his ability to present the viewpoint of a fourteen-year-old girl. In the form of Ruby, Ramirez imparts to readers all the confusion brought about by puberty; the emotional neediness camouflaged by sarcasm; the obsession and continuing frustration with boys; and the bonds female teenagers forge with one another.” — IndieReader

Gimme, gimme, gimme!

Thank you again for your support. Peace and love.

Hooray! Chainsaw Honeymoon Is Published!

Chainsaw Honeymoon Cover 3D

I am so excited—what a journey! The Kindle edition of Chainsaw Honeymoon is available now exclusively at Amazon, and for a limited time, I am offering it for $1.99 US. Click here to order your copy. The print edition will be available in a few days.

Yes, I want to buy now!

Take a look at what IndieReader had to say about my latest novel:

“In this tale of a daughter literally trying to scare her estranged parents back together, Steven Ramirez combines the horror/slasher film and literature genres with the light comedy/romance of a Cary Grant film. Both genres present challenges on their own. What is amazing about Chainsaw Honeymoon is how Ramirez surmounts both of these demands. Added to these accomplishments is his ability to present the viewpoint of a fourteen-year-old girl. In the form of Ruby, Ramirez imparts to readers all the confusion brought about by puberty; the emotional neediness camouflaged by sarcasm; the obsession and continuing frustration with boys; and the bonds female teenagers forge with one another.” — IndieReader

Stop talking so I can click the link!

Book Description
Life, love, and a few dead bodies. Just another day in LA.

One year ago, Alan and Stacey Navarro underwent a painful separation, leaving their daughter, Ruby, to live with her mom and an over-caffeinated Shih Tzu named Ed Wood. People split up all the time, and most kids might get over it, providing they can still Snapchat. Not Ruby. A bright, funny fourteen-year-old who loves shoes and horror movies, she is on an insane mission to get her parents back together. But she can’t do it alone. She needs her two best friends, her dog, an arrogant filmmaker, a bizarre collection of actors, and a chainsaw-wielding movie killer. What could possibly go wrong?

Chainsaw Honeymoon is “hysterical fiction” and like nothing you’ve ever read. There’s romance, drama, and a creepy talking doll called Mr. Shivers. Cutting a breakneck, jagged swath across present-day Los Angeles, this book hurls flaming balls of movies, music, horror, and comedy—like some kind of possessed pitching machine. Is this real life? Better ask Ruby.

For fans of John Green, Robyn Schneider, and Ferris Bueller.

Chainsaw Honeymoon Is Available for Preorder at Amazon

Chainsaw Honeymoon Cover 3DExciting news! Chainsaw Honeymoon is now available now for preorder at Amazon for ninety-nine cents. Order your copy now now. Because when it’s published on March 1st, the price goes up to $3.99.

Yes, I want to buy now!

Take a look at what IndieReader had to say about my latest novel:

“In this tale of a daughter literally trying to scare her estranged parents back together, Steven Ramirez combines the horror/slasher film and literature genres with the light comedy/romance of a Cary Grant film. Both genres present challenges on their own. What is amazing about Chainsaw Honeymoon is how Ramirez surmounts both of these demands. Added to these accomplishments is his ability to present the viewpoint of a fourteen-year-old girl. In the form of Ruby, Ramirez imparts to readers all the confusion brought about by puberty; the emotional neediness camouflaged by sarcasm; the obsession and continuing frustration with boys; and the bonds female teenagers forge with one another.” — IndieReader

Gimme, gimme, gimme!

Thank you again for your support. Peace and love.

Book Review—Trouble In Glamour Town

Trouble In Glamour Town CoverAfter reading S. R. Mallery’s new novel, I am under the impression that nothing much has changed in Hollywood since the 1920s. Of course, movies are in color now. And people actually talk. But corrupt cops, substance abuse, and mistreatment of women are pretty much what you can get now. Which reminds me. How, with prohibition, is there so much freaking alcohol? Wow, I guess the politicians didn’t really think that one through.

One thing I love about this author’s work is her attention to period detail. For example, who knew that actors had to wear blue makeup and yellow lipstick in front of the camera? Fascinating! And she didn’t neglect details like having to crank your stupid car to get it to start—even when you were trying to catch a bad guy. I love that kind of world building.

This is an unusual Hollywood story. Sure, you’ve got the wannabe starlet through whose eyes we see the story evolve. And the hard-boiled detective, the earnest boyfriend, and a cast of crazy characters literally out of the movies—Clara Bow, Douglas Fairbanks, and Mary Pickford! But you also have a sweet story about Rosie, who just wants to be happy. And despite the filth and corruption she seems to encounter at every turn, this girl just might have a shot.

You can find this review at Amazon US.

Book Description
Hollywood, 1926. Where actors’ and actresses’ dreams can come true. But do they? While silent screen movie stars reign supreme, a film producer is gunned down in cold blood. Enter Rosie, a pretty bit-player, Eddie, her current beau, and Beatrice, her bitter stage-mother. As real celebrities of the time, such as Clara Bow, Lon Chaney, Gloria Swanson, and Rudolph Valentino float in and out, a chase to find the killer exposes the true underbelly of Los Angeles––with all its corruption.

Where to Buy
Amazon US
Amazon UK
Amazon CA

More Reviews
Did you enjoy this review? Check out my other Amazon reviews here.

Book Review—Sorrow’s Lie

[Sorrow’s Lie Cover]Well, it seems Jimmy is hitting his stride at last. He’s gotten himself together enough to actually be in a place where he can contemplate married life with his sweetheart, Tabby. The ghosts in his charge are more or less intact (wait, can ghosts be intact?). And he might actually be just a little…happy.

But of course, with Danielle DeVor, you know this rainbow is doomed to turn gray—even black. There’s always some new evil lurking just around the corner that demands Jimmy’s attention. And this time, it’s baaaaaad. So much for honeymooning in the Poconos.

I am a huge fan of this series, and so far, this is my favorite. The characters are well developed and familiar, and the terror is worse than ever. If you like dark fiction with this author’s trademark humor, then I suggest you pick up Sorrow’s Lie. Just make sure the doors and windows are locked and warded.

You can find this review at Amazon US.

Book Description
Only an Exorcist Can Confront His Demons

Jimmy Holiday, exorcist extraordinaire, is about to embark on his most unusual case yet—a baby that may be possessed by the demonic…or worse, a true demon spawn. The Order wants him to make sure it is a true case and not some hoax…or so they say.

Once Jimmy arrives, the situation changes into a living nightmare. The Order is not what he thought at all. And now, they demand he commit an unspeakable act. But Jimmy has enough scars of his own.

When the full truth of the corruption within the Order comes to light, Jimmy must act. With a voudou woman who lives down the lane as an ally, Jimmy must fight for the life of this supernatural child, but at what cost?

Where to Buy
Amazon US
Amazon UK
Amazon CA

More Reviews
Did you enjoy this review? Check out my other Amazon reviews here.

Vote for a Chance at a Free Book!

[Kindle Scout Ad]

VOTE TODAY!

I need your help. Earlier this week, I submitted my new horror comedy novel, Chainsaw Honeymoon, to Kindle Scout, an Amazon program that lets readers help decide if a book gets published by Kindle Press. Of course, I’d assumed that with the holidays, I wouldn’t hear back for several weeks. But on Wednesday, I learned Amazon had approved my book for a campaign. Cue the Japanese drummers! And this is where YOU come in.

Basically, I have thirty days to convince readers to vote for my book. And I am asking you to help. If Amazon selects Chainsaw Honeymoon for publication, every person who voted for it gets a free copy (subject to Amazon’s rules). So, please. Visit my Kindle Scout Campaign today and VOTE. Thank you!

VOTE TODAY!

[Chainsaw Honeymoon Cover]

Book Description
One year ago, Alan and Stacey Navarro underwent a painful separation, leaving their daughter, Ruby, to live with her mom and an over-caffeinated Shih Tzu named Ed Wood. A bright, funny fourteen-year-old who loves shoes and horror movies, Ruby is on an insane mission to get her parents back together. But she can’t do it alone. She needs her two best friends, her dog, an arrogant filmmaker, a bizarre collection of actors, and a chainsaw-wielding movie killer. What could possibly go wrong?

Book Categories
Literature & Fiction › Humor & Satire › Dark Comedy
Literature & Fiction › Horror › Comedy
Romance › Romantic Comedy
Teen & Young Adult › Literature & Fiction › Humorous › Dark Humor

Don’t miss out. This campaign ends of December 24th. Visit my Kindle Scout Campaign and VOTE.

Book Review—The Death Of Me

[The Death Of Me Cover]I really liked this novel, but I have to be honest. DC Philip Harris drove me crazy. And maybe that’s the point. Take a guy who, let’s face it, is not the shiniest penny in the jar and throw every kind of roadblock in his path as he attempts to salvage what’s left of his career, and what do you have? Pure Grade A frustration, my friend. I mean, there were times when I wanted to scream at the guy to just grow a set. Then again, I was deeply impressed by his analytical skills and dogged determination, if not his wussy approach to those who taunt him—and there are plenty.

At this point, you’re probably wondering why I am recommending this book. Simple. Because it’s so bloody well written. The fact that another author can make this author seethe with anger each time the stakes are raised is something I admire. Also, the writing is taut and the characters well developed. My only criticism is that Phil’s Catholic backstory could use some work. But hey, that’s me.

If you like dark characters, conspiracy, and political intrigue—not to mention a couple of nasty abductions—then you should read The Death Of Me. You won’t be disappointed.

You can find this review at Amazon US.

Book Description
He watched. He studied. He planned.

Every detail meticulously organised. Every detail perfect. The basement was ready, now all he needed was the girl.

Grace Dalton was just fourteen years old when she was snatched from Greenwich Park on her way back from school. A beautiful, shy, but socially awkward girl, she would do anything to stay out of trouble and away from her bullies. Pressed for time and her tormentors blocking her usual route home, she makes a split second decision with catastrophic consequences.

After facing public humiliation from a previous investigation, Detective Constable Philip Harris once again finds himself under savage media scrutiny when he’s assigned to Grace’s case. Determined to find her and solve the case to gain back his credibility, his frustrations mount when he repeatedly finds himself hampered at every turn. With no other suspects and the case rapidly becoming cold, the finger of blame points to Tom, Grace’s father. Struggling to keep his personal resentment towards Tom away from the case and the press, DC Harris embarks on his own investigations to find who the real kidnapper is against the instructions from his superior officers. But when his digging leads him to a mysterious concealed road protected by impenetrable iron gates he soon realises his investigations have not only endangered himself, but also his family.

Pitched alone against a highly organised crime syndicate and not knowing which side his colleagues are on, he’s faced with some tough decisions. Either drop Grace’s case, declaring it cold and allowing Tom to take the fall, or embark on a highly dangerous quest for her safe return. Time’s running out, which will he choose?

Where to Buy
Amazon US
Amazon UK
Amazon CA

More Reviews
Did you enjoy this review? Check out my other Amazon reviews here.

Guest Post: I Hear Voices in My Head and I Like It

By Jordan Dane

So, my friend Jordan demanded that I turn over my blog for this post. In fact, she pointed to a picture of my dog and, with a sly grin, said, “You do the math, Sparky.” Fine. Anyway, she’s an outstanding writer with a sharp sense of humor. If you haven’t done it yet, check out book 1 in her Ryker Townsend series, The Last Victim. I just bought it, so look for my review soon. Over to you, Jordan.

[Jordan Dane]Horror makes me giddy. There, I said it. I’m not into overly descriptive gore, but the titillating anticipation of what is about to happen makes me tingle. I like the bizarro world of Dean Koontz when he tiptoes through scary notions and the paranormal. I watched the seductive Penny Dreadful on Showtime with equal parts abhorrence and glee, yet I’ve never seen the movie Jaws, by choice. I don’t want to have nightmares about turning into shark poop, but I put my readers in a front row seat to darkness in my crime fiction books, without shoving them off a cliff.

In The Last Victim, my FBI profiler’s secret is a gift and a curse. Ryker Townsend sees through the eyes of the dead. The last images imprinted on the retinas of the dearly departing become macabre puzzle pieces for him to decipher. These creepy flashes come to him as he sleeps. Hence, the tag line – When he sleeps, the hunt begins. Ryker is an open vessel for the dead, and they reach out to him, sometimes beyond his nightmares in broad daylight, until he’s unsure which side of reality he should be on.

Ryker’s Basic Framework
In crafting Ryker Townsend, I wanted to look beyond his gift of communicating with the dead to solve heinous crimes. I formed him from two characters I love—Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock Holmes and Tom Mison’s Ichabod Crane from Sleepy Hollow. Ryker has an eidetic memory. His mind is like a computer that spits out facts without a filter. He’s socially awkward and highly intelligent, but not exactly macho.

As an author, I have firsthand knowledge of the perils of an unfiltered brain. Writers need to “hear” the voices in our heads, but it can get us in trouble at social occasions. This I know.

Ryker’s Added Layers
I wanted Ryker to have more layers to his personality and his past. I needed to heap on the right baggage to make his job more challenging. Being an odd child, he had a special bond with his mother who embraced his psychic gift. His father didn’t always understand it and Ryker’s sister Sarah became jealous of the extra attention from mom.

Ryker’s gift is at the center of all his strengths and his weaknesses to show how he lives with a trait most people would fear. When something happens to his dear mother, it creates a wedge between Ryker and his sister—and of course, it’s my duty as an author to torture him.

Ryker’s Journey
I couldn’t write about Ryker without delving into his personal life and heaping emotional heft into his Samsonite. It’s what makes him real. I force him to confront his personal demons while he’s up to his neck in bloody murder.

The Last Victim (Novel 1)
In book 1 of Ryker’s story, his life is laid bare. He’s in the middle of a hunt for a baffling serial killer who has eluded him. When a gory crime scene puts him in Seattle, home to his estranged sister (and her family that he’s never met), his life becomes an onion with layers to peel away.

He’s kept his psychic gift a secret from everyone and withdrawn into himself. His only outlet is his work, but he’s afraid of losing respect within the ranks of the FBI—and he risks his cases being overturned by the courts if it became clear how he investigates. He hasn’t told anyone about his nightmares, not even the trusted team who work for him.

After he realizes that the killer has targeted him personally, he must use his gift to hunt on his own terms—alone. Ryker learns what it’s like to become a victim and he’s forced to deal with his past, a theme that will become his journey through any story I write about him.

Following the novel that established him, I wrote novellas that allowed me to examine his life in different ways. A common theme for me is spirituality and how investigators deal with the violence they see. How does it change them?

Redemption for Avery (Novella 2)
In novella 2, Ryker deals with the aftermath of becoming a victim and nearly losing his life. He’s confided in a special woman, and the relationship carries more risk and complications. Because this story deals with a brother who lost his younger sister to a serial killer when he was only fifteen, Ryker and his notions of family are put through an emotional wringer.

In the Eyes of the Dead (Novella 3)
In novella 3, I wanted him to struggle with lingering PTSD from book 1 in a case involving Dia de Los Muertos (Day of the Dead) and superstition. He’s forced to confront his own beliefs on the afterlife. I had to examine the things that truly get my heart pumping—my own mortality—and the things I sometimes wonder when I can’t sleep after the death of someone I love.

The Darkness Within Him (Novella 4)
In story 4, Ryker must recreate a horrific moment in a young runaway’s life, the night his mother murdered his sister and tried to kill him. Imagine someone like Ryker—who had a close relationship with his mother—how would his feelings of failure with his own family affect him? He’s forced to confront the guilt he has for the way his mother died.

Fiona’s Salvation (Novella 5)
In story 5, the reader sees his compassion for the dead, no matter who they were in life. He feels a profound duty to them in a grander scheme as if he has a role to play in death. He protects Fiona as she deals with her haunting demons, something he knows about.

Ryker’s Journey Is My Challenge
Each character Ryker encounters becomes a mirror for him to see into his dark corners—and his journey becomes my own voyage of self-discovery. My characters explore where I sometimes don’t want to venture, but I push to discover things about me through them. They are my teachers. The old adage to “write what you know” never worked for me. I believe you should write what you fear and dig deep for the truth to breathe life into your pages.

Discussion
For Writers.
How do you tackle adding layers to your characters to make them memorable?

For Readers. What novels have remained with you long after you closed the book? What made the story and the character(s) memorable?

Links
The Last Victim
Redemption for Avery
In the Eyes of the Dead
The Darkness within Him
Fiona’s Salvation

Author Bio
[Jordan Dane (Twitter)]
Bestselling, critically-acclaimed author Jordan Dane’s gritty thrillers are ripped from the headlines with vivid settings, intrigue, and dark humor. Publishers Weekly compared her intense novels to Lisa Jackson, Lisa Gardner, and Tami Hoag, naming her debut novel No One Heard Her Scream as Best Books of 2008. Dane is multi-published in crime fiction thrillers, has books in over seven countries, and has written young-adult novels for Harlequin Teen. Formerly an energy sales manager, she now writes full time. Jordan shares her Texas residence with two lucky rescue dogs. www.jordandane.com


Book Review—The Ghosts of Idlewood

[The Ghosts of Idlewood Cover]When I’m not reading horror, I like immersing myself in a good ghost story. The thing about this sub-genre is, you can pretty much do what you want anywhere you want. I love learning about different parts of the country. The Ghosts of Idlewood paints a realistic picture of the modern South. And in reaching back to centuries past, it provides the reader with a rich tapestry of what life might have been like on a plantation.

If, like me, you haven’t been steeped in the author’s Seven Sisters series, don’t worry. This story works well as a standalone, and I had no trouble picking up on the backstories of the main characters as they face paranormal danger in trying to solve the mystery that lies within the walls of a once-grand estate called Idlewood.

You can find this review at Amazon US.

Book Description
Carrie Jo Begins a New Renovation at Idlewood!

The Seven Sisters Spin-Off You’ve Been Waiting For!

When a team of historians takes on the task of restoring the Idlewood plantation to its former glory, they discover there’s more to the moldering old home than meets the eye. The long-dead Ferguson children don’t seem to know they’re dead. A mysterious clock, a devilish fog and the Shadow Man add to the supernatural tension that begins to build in the house. Lead historian Carrie Jo Stuart and her assistant Rachel must use their special abilities to get to the bottom of the many mysteries that the house holds.

Detra Ann and Henri get a reality check, of the supernatural kind, and Deidre Jardine finally comes face to face with the past.

Where to Buy
Amazon US
Amazon UK
Amazon CA

More Reviews
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Come As You Are Is Free for Five Days!

It’s almost Halloween, and I am celebrating by offering the Kindle version of my new horror collection, Come As You Are, for free October 27th through the 31st. I hope you’ll take advantage. The title work is a novella about a bullied middle school kid looking to take revenge. Only, the method he’s chosen puts himself and everyone around him in horrible danger. Here is what Readers’ Favorite had to say:

Ivan’s innocent and unwitting flirtation with the demonic is first-rate supernatural horror. Ramirez’s characters are beautifully defined, particularly Ivan and Hershey, the school janitor, who turns out to be much more than that. His plot is beautifully scripted and the suspense and supernatural dread emanating throughout this story make it impossible to put down until the last page is read. Come As You Are: A Short Novel and Nine Stories is highly recommended. 

Get your free copy now—and Happy Halloween!

[Come As You Are Cover]

GET YOUR FREE COPY NOW!

Synopsis
Some things are better left alone.

Ivan Stein isn’t sure he can survive seventh grade, let alone middle school. Living in a town known for its poverty and violence, he is regularly bullied along with his best friend, Ollie. But fortunes can change. One day, Ivan finds an old notebook in an abandoned locker at school. Despite a stark warning, he takes the book and unleashes powerful magic he can use to punish his enemies. But demonic forces control the book’s pages—a terrifying evil that will inflict suffering on the good as well as the bad and take his soul as payment.

Come As You Are is supernatural horror reimagined as Young Adult fiction. But don’t be fooled. Its violence will disturb you and its depiction of people living in a gloomy, desolate town without hope will make you cry. Pray that Ivan and his family can survive this dark, perilous journey.

Also in this collection:

“Nailed It”
“Brown the Recluse”
“I’ve Been Better”
“A Bone in the Throat”
“Regino Sings”
“A Proper Revenge Takes Time”
“Something to Hold”
“The Widow and Her Magician”
“Walker”